14
() helostninepounds(agreatblessing)dur?ingtheeightment.theyhadnotbeenslowtocriticizehistoes,teeth,belly,hair,orpolitics."itseemstome,"veronicahadsaidoneday,"thatyouhavenosocialresponsibility.""myfirstsocialresponsibility,"hehadsaid,&acollapse.""rightrig;quot;shesaid,"butyouareafterallacreatureofthepowerstructure.youworkforthepowerstructure."thiswastrueenough,revolutionariesdidntbuildbuildings,neededonlyclos?etstooiltheiruzisin,noworkforarchitectsthere.ontheotherhandveronicaandtheothersderivedtheirownpoliticsfromak-martofsources,thogshoulder-to-shoulderwithsiherbeatentroopersofsixtyandrightduringthesaimesthesamesentence.
hisheadacheshadgoneawaybuthadbeenreplacedbyearly-morningvomiting.afewouncesofyellowbileproducedeachatedontoomuch,thoughtcarefullyaboutasufficiency.whenthewomenhadbeenlivingwithhimhehadthoughtofhimself,veryoften,asinsufficientlyvirile,orinsuffi?cientlyahisherhand,whocouldresistit?annesome?timeslookedlikeatwenty-year-old,especiallywhenshedjustbathed,thesmallbreasts,thesmallhips,thedarkhair.dorewastallandbossy,therewasnootherwordforit,andveronicawas,takeyourchoice,sassyorcritical,greatliponthatkid,neverwithoutaspikedre?hewasahotel,didntmindbeingahotel,okayimahotel.twoofthekintheearlymornings,takingturns,fiveorsixoclock,hewasdrinkingwhitewine,notverygoodwhitewine,andsmoking,thiswentonforalongwhile,soherandonewouldbegintolicktheinsideoftheotherslegsupnearthecunt,quitenear,siocks,aroundherwaistandthenhebuttockswithslopreciativestrokes,rakingthemwithhisnailsatintervals,butsoftly,littlebites,butsoftly,thefleshissodeliciousdoresaid,orannesaid.
"youvebeenbadveronica."
"noihaventthatsnotbadthatshardlybadatall."
"iagreewithher.youvebeenbad."
"noihaventidontcallthat——"
"verybad."
"idontcallthatbadthatsnothardlybadatallyoushouldseewhativeseenifyouwanttotalkabout——"
"yesveronicayesofcourseofcourseveronicaididntthinkyoudadheresnoreasoningwithher."
"doredontgoihaventbeenbadshesjusttryingtotellyouivebeenbadbutimeanareyougoingtobe?lieveher?justbecauseshesays——"
"wellhowdoyoufeel?"
"bad."
"yousee."
"ohgoddorenowyouvemadeherfeelbadjusttalkingabouteverythingyouvemadeherfeelbadthatshesdonesolesomethingsheshouldnthavedonesomelittlesomethingthatwar?rantshorriblecontrition——"
"idontmindmakingherfeelbad.shesbad."
"veronica,areyouessentiallywhatshesaysyouare?bad?youcantellmeimyourfriend.ihaveotherbadfriends,ifthat——"
"wellspit.thatswhatithink."
"yourenotgoingtotalkist;quot;
"hither."
"imnotgoingtohithershesasisteryoucanthitasisterevenabadsisterthatsoneoftheeternalrulesnotevenaterribly,terriblybadsister.likeveronica."
"imaboutasbadasiwanttobe,sofar.ihaventthoughtabouthaventgraspedhowbadiurewhenesinorsomething.something,then,willallo;quot;
"idontthinkshesgoingtoacknowledgetheclearfacts.idontthinkshehasthehumility.igiveupiab?solutelygiveup."
"hangmeifyouwanttoidontcare.wherestherope?gettherope.hangme."
"ohhithergoaheadandhithericantstandthismewling."
"idontwanttohither."
"hitme."
"hither."
"whatwith?"
"godidontknowuseyourfistkickherwhatdoicareitsnotmyproblemisit.hither."
"youdontthinkthatsalittlesevere?"
"itsgonnatakeagoddamnpresidentialordertogetyoutohither?"
"whyme?"
"okayivebeenbad.iadmitit.butothershavebeenworse.icouldpointsomefingers."
"lordimtiredoflisteningtothisdrivelifyoudontgetittogetherinthenextthreetofiveminutesimgoingto——"
"what?"
simonsfatherdiedandheflewbacktocaliforniaforthefuneral.hehadtobuyadarksuit,wenttobarneysandpickedthefirstohatseemedtofithiohismother,theirarmsentwined,whilethepresbyterianministersaidwhathecould.thechapeltyex?ceptforthetwoofthemandanelderlycouplehisonnieandbillandwhoturnedouttobegolfers,partofamixedfoursomehisfatherhadplayedwithonceaweek.theotherwoobepresentbecauseofadaughtergivingbirthincorvallis,oregon.hismotherdidntplay.
afterward,backatherhandsoheightshouse,hismothersaid:"whatareyoudoing?"
"takingalittletimeoff."
"itsbeenmonthsno;quot;
&atmonths."
"justasking."
&auation?"
"yourfatherwasverygoodaboutthat,asyouknow.thatcarbideheboughtyearsagoattwelve?hesolditjustbeforehediedatseventy-three.whentheywerehavingthattrouble.hehadalmosttenthousandshares.actuallyitwentuptoseventy-eightlastweekbuthedidverywell,verywell.wehavesomeotherstuffthatslookinggood."
&aingtonewyork?ihaveaplaceyoudlike.needsfurniture.wecouldgooutandbuyalotoffurniture."
"idontwanttobuyanymorefurniture,"hismothersaid."ilikeithere.illhavetoseehowitfeels.ifineedyouillcallyou,relyonit."
&ahanbuyingfurniture."
"iagree.butithastobegoingtowardsomething."
nothingtosaytothat.
hisfatherhadbeenalumberman,aprophetofred?wood.redwoodwaslight,easilymilled,plentiful,tookastainwell,weatheredbeautifully.tensofhundredsofthousandsofboardfeetofcaliforniaredassedthroughthefaions,hisfathernotthebiggestlue,butnotthesmallest.simonrememberedoddmo?ments:puttingahugedollopofworcestershiresauceonahaaurantandhisfathertellinghim,"dontdothat,son,itwhipsupthebody."sit?tingbytheradioin1938listeningtothesecondlouis-schmelingfight,sittingbytheradioallnightlongin1939listeningtoaountsofthegermaninvasionofpoland.whensimonhadbeenexpelledfromusc,beforeenn,hehadehomeandtoldhisfatheraboutit,andhisfathersonlyment;quot;whatarewegoingtotellyourmother?"thedeathofthefatherissupposedtoreleaseaburstofnewcreativeenergy,heremembered.hefeltnothingbutsadnessandadmiration.
backinnewyorkhereceivesanoticeforjuryduty.howcanthisbe?hesnotregisteredtovote.neverthe?lesshedutifullyhaulshireetonehefifteenthfloorofthecriminalcourtsbuildingarefilledwithreaders.hespotsatleasttwentypaperbackcopiesoflecarresthelittledrummergirl,whichhehilyenjoyed.hefallsintoconversationwithayoungwoorofatradejournaldealingwithlingerie.shesknittingfuriously,asleevelesssweater,asshetalks.&ahousandayearforthepany,profit,"shesays.&ayoubelieveit?"sheproducesfourteenissuesayear,witheachissuerunningtoniy-sixpagesofeditorialandgodknowshowmanyofads."itshardtothinkofthingstofeatureafterawhile,&afesses."howsarethere?wetakealotofcluesfromtheartists.memphisisinnow,spatterandclatter."
thelingerieeditortellshimthatherassistantisaberserkoandtossibletogetgoodsubordi?natesthesedays.siurdercase,empaneledagain,isknockedoffarapecase.&ausedofsexualt,&aellsthejurors."willthedefendantstandupsothatthejurorscanseehim?"thedefendantstandsandalmostinvoluntarilytakesalittlebow.whentheattorneys,questioningsimoninthejurybox,askhimwhatheis,hesaysheisanarchitect.atthelunchbreakonthethirdday,hemeets,inaclusteroffastfoodstandsinalittleparknearthecourt?houses,ared-hairedwomanwhosayssheisapoet.
thethreewomenlookedforjobsbutwereturneddownbybendel,bergdorf,bloomingdales,lord&taylor,charlesjourdan,ungaro,altmans,saks,macys.theytriedalltheartingwithfordandworkingtheirwaydownthelist.siheseateveryadagencyofanysizeintpliedforsubstituteteacherpositionsbutfoundthisaclosedshop,theyneedednewyorkstatecredentialswhichtheydidnthave.inamomentofdes?perationtheyfiledapplicationsforthefiredepart?mentbutweretoldtheyweresofardownonthelistthattheyhadnoreasonablehopeofconsiderationbe?fore1999,whentheywouldbetoooldtobegintrain?ing.
anneandveronicaarefighting.
"stupidbitch!"
"asshole!"
&a,guys,"simonsays."whatsthedeal?"
&adadumbmotherfucker,"annesays."crummycheaposlut."
"lookwhostalking,"veronicasays,jumpingoutofannesreach.&atof1986."
"whatsthisabout?whatstheissue?"
&agreasonable,"veronicasays,sittingdownonthecouch.
"isay,whatsgoingon?"
"shegotusajob,"annesays.
"terrific,"sayssimon."whatsthejob?"
&aionalsprinklerassociation.attheahesethingsandgetsprinkled.iwontdoit."
"whatiftheygaveusraincoats?"
"itsnotraincoatstheywanttosee."
&aplasticraincoats?"
&aoats."
&ahesays.itstwohun?dredeach."
"raincoatsandbodystockings."
"nothrillinbodystockings."
"letthemusetheirvileimaginations."
"ijustfeellikeabody."
"whatingodsna?"
"iknow,ikno;quot;
"lookatitthis;quot;simonsays."abodyisagift.agreatbodyisagreatgift."
"allineed.aunitarianminister."
&aakethejob."
"wedonthaveanymoney."
&aomakealittlepileofmoneyandburnitrighthereonthefloor?theresenoughmoneyaround.takeiteasy.waituntilyoufindsomethingyouwant."
&aubines."
&ahingsoundasterribleasyouwant,"simonsays."imgoingtobed."
"whowith?"
simonswifeslawyersletterarrivesandoutlinesherdemands:shewantsfullcustodyofthechild,thepinestreethouse,bothcars,sixty-fivethousanddollarsayearinalimony,childsupportatalevelconsonantwiththechildspreviousstyleoflife,fiftypercentofallre?tireofhispartnershipinterestinthefiry,andfiftypercentofalloddsandendsofstocks,bonds,cashandrealpropertynotsubsuhepreviousrubrics.theclienthasbeenseverelydaionandtheyearsoffiendishabusethathadprecededit,thelet?tersuggests.
"whatareyougoingtodo?"veronicaasks.
"giveittoher,iguess."
"wereyoureallythatbad?"
"hemaybeoverstatingitabit."
"ureskin."
hisheadacheshadgoneawaybuthadbeenreplacedbyearly-morningvomiting.afewouncesofyellowbileproducedeachatedontoomuch,thoughtcarefullyaboutasufficiency.whenthewomenhadbeenlivingwithhimhehadthoughtofhimself,veryoften,asinsufficientlyvirile,orinsuffi?cientlyahisherhand,whocouldresistit?annesome?timeslookedlikeatwenty-year-old,especiallywhenshedjustbathed,thesmallbreasts,thesmallhips,thedarkhair.dorewastallandbossy,therewasnootherwordforit,andveronicawas,takeyourchoice,sassyorcritical,greatliponthatkid,neverwithoutaspikedre?hewasahotel,didntmindbeingahotel,okayimahotel.twoofthekintheearlymornings,takingturns,fiveorsixoclock,hewasdrinkingwhitewine,notverygoodwhitewine,andsmoking,thiswentonforalongwhile,soherandonewouldbegintolicktheinsideoftheotherslegsupnearthecunt,quitenear,siocks,aroundherwaistandthenhebuttockswithslopreciativestrokes,rakingthemwithhisnailsatintervals,butsoftly,littlebites,butsoftly,thefleshissodeliciousdoresaid,orannesaid.
"youvebeenbadveronica."
"noihaventthatsnotbadthatshardlybadatall."
"iagreewithher.youvebeenbad."
"noihaventidontcallthat——"
"verybad."
"idontcallthatbadthatsnothardlybadatallyoushouldseewhativeseenifyouwanttotalkabout——"
"yesveronicayesofcourseofcourseveronicaididntthinkyoudadheresnoreasoningwithher."
"doredontgoihaventbeenbadshesjusttryingtotellyouivebeenbadbutimeanareyougoingtobe?lieveher?justbecauseshesays——"
"wellhowdoyoufeel?"
"bad."
"yousee."
"ohgoddorenowyouvemadeherfeelbadjusttalkingabouteverythingyouvemadeherfeelbadthatshesdonesolesomethingsheshouldnthavedonesomelittlesomethingthatwar?rantshorriblecontrition——"
"idontmindmakingherfeelbad.shesbad."
"veronica,areyouessentiallywhatshesaysyouare?bad?youcantellmeimyourfriend.ihaveotherbadfriends,ifthat——"
"wellspit.thatswhatithink."
"yourenotgoingtotalkist;quot;
"hither."
"imnotgoingtohithershesasisteryoucanthitasisterevenabadsisterthatsoneoftheeternalrulesnotevenaterribly,terriblybadsister.likeveronica."
"imaboutasbadasiwanttobe,sofar.ihaventthoughtabouthaventgraspedhowbadiurewhenesinorsomething.something,then,willallo;quot;
"idontthinkshesgoingtoacknowledgetheclearfacts.idontthinkshehasthehumility.igiveupiab?solutelygiveup."
"hangmeifyouwanttoidontcare.wherestherope?gettherope.hangme."
"ohhithergoaheadandhithericantstandthismewling."
"idontwanttohither."
"hitme."
"hither."
"whatwith?"
"godidontknowuseyourfistkickherwhatdoicareitsnotmyproblemisit.hither."
"youdontthinkthatsalittlesevere?"
"itsgonnatakeagoddamnpresidentialordertogetyoutohither?"
"whyme?"
"okayivebeenbad.iadmitit.butothershavebeenworse.icouldpointsomefingers."
"lordimtiredoflisteningtothisdrivelifyoudontgetittogetherinthenextthreetofiveminutesimgoingto——"
"what?"
simonsfatherdiedandheflewbacktocaliforniaforthefuneral.hehadtobuyadarksuit,wenttobarneysandpickedthefirstohatseemedtofithiohismother,theirarmsentwined,whilethepresbyterianministersaidwhathecould.thechapeltyex?ceptforthetwoofthemandanelderlycouplehisonnieandbillandwhoturnedouttobegolfers,partofamixedfoursomehisfatherhadplayedwithonceaweek.theotherwoobepresentbecauseofadaughtergivingbirthincorvallis,oregon.hismotherdidntplay.
afterward,backatherhandsoheightshouse,hismothersaid:"whatareyoudoing?"
"takingalittletimeoff."
"itsbeenmonthsno;quot;
&atmonths."
"justasking."
&auation?"
"yourfatherwasverygoodaboutthat,asyouknow.thatcarbideheboughtyearsagoattwelve?hesolditjustbeforehediedatseventy-three.whentheywerehavingthattrouble.hehadalmosttenthousandshares.actuallyitwentuptoseventy-eightlastweekbuthedidverywell,verywell.wehavesomeotherstuffthatslookinggood."
&aingtonewyork?ihaveaplaceyoudlike.needsfurniture.wecouldgooutandbuyalotoffurniture."
"idontwanttobuyanymorefurniture,"hismothersaid."ilikeithere.illhavetoseehowitfeels.ifineedyouillcallyou,relyonit."
&ahanbuyingfurniture."
"iagree.butithastobegoingtowardsomething."
nothingtosaytothat.
hisfatherhadbeenalumberman,aprophetofred?wood.redwoodwaslight,easilymilled,plentiful,tookastainwell,weatheredbeautifully.tensofhundredsofthousandsofboardfeetofcaliforniaredassedthroughthefaions,hisfathernotthebiggestlue,butnotthesmallest.simonrememberedoddmo?ments:puttingahugedollopofworcestershiresauceonahaaurantandhisfathertellinghim,"dontdothat,son,itwhipsupthebody."sit?tingbytheradioin1938listeningtothesecondlouis-schmelingfight,sittingbytheradioallnightlongin1939listeningtoaountsofthegermaninvasionofpoland.whensimonhadbeenexpelledfromusc,beforeenn,hehadehomeandtoldhisfatheraboutit,andhisfathersonlyment;quot;whatarewegoingtotellyourmother?"thedeathofthefatherissupposedtoreleaseaburstofnewcreativeenergy,heremembered.hefeltnothingbutsadnessandadmiration.
backinnewyorkhereceivesanoticeforjuryduty.howcanthisbe?hesnotregisteredtovote.neverthe?lesshedutifullyhaulshireetonehefifteenthfloorofthecriminalcourtsbuildingarefilledwithreaders.hespotsatleasttwentypaperbackcopiesoflecarresthelittledrummergirl,whichhehilyenjoyed.hefallsintoconversationwithayoungwoorofatradejournaldealingwithlingerie.shesknittingfuriously,asleevelesssweater,asshetalks.&ahousandayearforthepany,profit,"shesays.&ayoubelieveit?"sheproducesfourteenissuesayear,witheachissuerunningtoniy-sixpagesofeditorialandgodknowshowmanyofads."itshardtothinkofthingstofeatureafterawhile,&afesses."howsarethere?wetakealotofcluesfromtheartists.memphisisinnow,spatterandclatter."
thelingerieeditortellshimthatherassistantisaberserkoandtossibletogetgoodsubordi?natesthesedays.siurdercase,empaneledagain,isknockedoffarapecase.&ausedofsexualt,&aellsthejurors."willthedefendantstandupsothatthejurorscanseehim?"thedefendantstandsandalmostinvoluntarilytakesalittlebow.whentheattorneys,questioningsimoninthejurybox,askhimwhatheis,hesaysheisanarchitect.atthelunchbreakonthethirdday,hemeets,inaclusteroffastfoodstandsinalittleparknearthecourt?houses,ared-hairedwomanwhosayssheisapoet.
thethreewomenlookedforjobsbutwereturneddownbybendel,bergdorf,bloomingdales,lord&taylor,charlesjourdan,ungaro,altmans,saks,macys.theytriedalltheartingwithfordandworkingtheirwaydownthelist.siheseateveryadagencyofanysizeintpliedforsubstituteteacherpositionsbutfoundthisaclosedshop,theyneedednewyorkstatecredentialswhichtheydidnthave.inamomentofdes?perationtheyfiledapplicationsforthefiredepart?mentbutweretoldtheyweresofardownonthelistthattheyhadnoreasonablehopeofconsiderationbe?fore1999,whentheywouldbetoooldtobegintrain?ing.
anneandveronicaarefighting.
"stupidbitch!"
"asshole!"
&a,guys,"simonsays."whatsthedeal?"
&adadumbmotherfucker,"annesays."crummycheaposlut."
"lookwhostalking,"veronicasays,jumpingoutofannesreach.&atof1986."
"whatsthisabout?whatstheissue?"
&agreasonable,"veronicasays,sittingdownonthecouch.
"isay,whatsgoingon?"
"shegotusajob,"annesays.
"terrific,"sayssimon."whatsthejob?"
&aionalsprinklerassociation.attheahesethingsandgetsprinkled.iwontdoit."
"whatiftheygaveusraincoats?"
"itsnotraincoatstheywanttosee."
&aplasticraincoats?"
&aoats."
&ahesays.itstwohun?dredeach."
"raincoatsandbodystockings."
"nothrillinbodystockings."
"letthemusetheirvileimaginations."
"ijustfeellikeabody."
"whatingodsna?"
"iknow,ikno;quot;
"lookatitthis;quot;simonsays."abodyisagift.agreatbodyisagreatgift."
"allineed.aunitarianminister."
&aakethejob."
"wedonthaveanymoney."
&aomakealittlepileofmoneyandburnitrighthereonthefloor?theresenoughmoneyaround.takeiteasy.waituntilyoufindsomethingyouwant."
&aubines."
&ahingsoundasterribleasyouwant,"simonsays."imgoingtobed."
"whowith?"
simonswifeslawyersletterarrivesandoutlinesherdemands:shewantsfullcustodyofthechild,thepinestreethouse,bothcars,sixty-fivethousanddollarsayearinalimony,childsupportatalevelconsonantwiththechildspreviousstyleoflife,fiftypercentofallre?tireofhispartnershipinterestinthefiry,andfiftypercentofalloddsandendsofstocks,bonds,cashandrealpropertynotsubsuhepreviousrubrics.theclienthasbeenseverelydaionandtheyearsoffiendishabusethathadprecededit,thelet?tersuggests.
"whatareyougoingtodo?"veronicaasks.
"giveittoher,iguess."
"wereyoureallythatbad?"
"hemaybeoverstatingitabit."
"ureskin."