11
() siurnoffthetelevisionset.thethinghadcapturedherandanyonewholaidahandonitwassubjecttoafull-scaletantru.shewas,forsomereason,inordinatelyfondofdaffyduck,althoughtheroadrunnerwasalsoafa?vorite.shewasqueenlyinexpressingherself.attwo,sheproducedasentencethatsiswerenotisfactionshewouldsay,gravely,"youaremakingmeangry.&aedthehouseholdssentence-hoardsioworryaboutlanguageacquisition.intheearlymorningsshewouldrushintothebedroohsihemwithsoftlittlegroansofsatisfaction.whenshegrewup,shesaid,shewantedtobeaballe?rina.hermothermadeheratutuoutofsomepinkgauzymaterialandsheprancedaboutthehouseinthis,whitedanskins,andacardboardtiaraonwhichgoldstarshadbeenpasted,exhibitingallthegraceofatallgesturingcactus.whenshewasfourteensheickedupforshoplifting,frightenedasthoroughlyaspossible,andreleased.theiteionwasatubeoflipglosscalledpenumbra.
herememberedcaroljuoholdtheendofthevealbonewhilehetriedtocutmeatfromit."thatsnotwhatthemittisfor!"hehadtold,itwashishinghecaredtoincludingcleaningthegreasetrapifhecaredto.oldhionionsfromthepot.thebabystandingonthekitchentableandsinging
impretty
impretty
andidontcare
memoriesofmitt.
"thisguyslappedveronica."
";quot;
"shedoesntknow.sizzaandstoppedatthekoreanmarket.shehadabigcauli?flowerinherhands,shewaskindoffeelingittoseeifitwas——"
"andheslappedher?"
"ablackguy.walkeduptoherandslappedherintheface.knockedhersunglassesoff."
"whatdshedo?"
&a."
"howdoyoukno;quot;
"hesaidso.hesaid,iandimcrazy.thenheslappedher.thenheaskedherformoney."
"didshegivehimany?"
"ofcoursenot,shethrewthecauliflowerathim."
"didithithim?"
"noithitanoldlady.rightinthemush.shedidntthrowitsowell?"
&ahen?"
&ahecounterhadafit.felldownandfoamedatthemouth."
"isheokay?"
&aa;quot;
&aheblackguy?"
"hesplit."
"isveronicaokay?"
"sure.shesusedtoit.beingbashedaround.thisisagreattownyouhavehere."
doreisangry.shesholdingtheboxthatthefrozenpizzacamein.
"youreactuallygoingtofeedusthispizza?"
"whatsthematterwithit?"
"thisfrozenpizza?"
"soitsfrozen."
"doyouknowwhatitsgotinit?enrichedflour."
"whatsthematterwithenrichedflour?"
"theenrichedflourhasinitflour,niacin,reducediron,thiaminemononitrate,andriboflavin."
"allgreatstuff.irememberriboflavinfroiesorsomething."
"werejustgettingstarted.werejustgoingintoourwinduphere.wegetwater,hydrogenatedsoybeanoil,yeast,salt,andsoditioner.thedoughconditionersgotsodiuiumsulfateandsodiumsulfite."
"soybeansaregood.inventedbymartinlutherking."
&acookedporkandmozzarellacheesesubstitute.themozzarellacheesesubsti?tutecontainswater,casein,hydrogenatedsoybeanoil——younoticethesoybeanisdoingalotofworkhere——salt,sodiuid,naturalflavorwhateverthatis,citrate,sorbicacid,sodiuolor,guargum,magnesium,oxide,ferricorthophosphate,zincoxide,b-12,folicacid,b-6hydrochloride,niacinamide,vitaminapalmitate,xanthangum,thia?minemononitrate——iaskyou."
"what?"
"isthisfoodorac;quot;
"doesnttastetoobad."
&aakeanuclearonwithlessstuffthanthispizzahasinit."
abarelegagainstapurplishsheet.
thethingis,theydiscusshim.
"hecouldlosemaybefifteenpounds."
"ithinkitskindofcute.likesantaclauswithwhatdoesitsayabowlfullofjelly."
goodshoulders.deepchest.thatsinhisfavor."
&agoodposture.wereyoueverintheservice,simon?"
"twoyears."
"whenwasthat?"
"inthe50s."
"youdoanything?"
"ofamilitarynature?no,ijustputinmytime."
"alittlebowleggeddontyouthink?"
"itsnotbowlegsitsjustthatthekneesaretooclosetogether."
"bigfeet."
"wellhesabigboy."
"thehandslookalittletoilworntomyeye."
&aousesomekindoflotion,simon,lubridermor——"
"buthesstillgotprettymuchhairforaguyhisage,thatsaplus."
"ithinkyouneedahaircut,siawayfromthatshaggylook,thatsnotthelookoftoday."
&autitforyou.veronicaknowshowtocuthair."
"afive-bucktip,simon,thatsallittakes.thirtyforthehaircutandfiveforthetip."
theysay,overandover:
&ahmydrift?"
&ahmydrift?"
&ahmydrift?"
annesays,&aostandaroundinyourfrillieswithallthoseguyslookingatyou."
"well,thatstrue."
"also,myboobsaretoosmall."
"bywhatstandard?"
&aeptedstandards."
herbreastsareinfactquiteperfect."look,dearfriend,"hesays,"onewouldhavetojourneyightyriversandslogupanddowntower?ingmountains,cutthroughthickmatogrossoswithd,tofindamorebeautifulwomanthanyoursweetself."
"doyoureallyt;quot;
"ofcourse."
"doesntdomeanygoodifimdumb,doesit?"
"whatmakesyouthinkyouredumb?"
"ifiwasntdumbiwouldntbeaprofessionalmodel."
"doesntfollow.lookat——"hegropesforthenameofamodelwhoisalsoamazinglyintelligentbuthisknowledgeofthefieldisinadequate."laurenhutton,"hesays.
"shemakesmoviestoo."
&ahere,"hesays.&aonvinces.probablydreamsthree-dimensionalchess.q.e.d."
"youreverysupportive,simon."
"iloveyouguys."
"thatsthefirsttimeyouvesaidthat."
"islipped."
&aow.thisismarch,right?"
"thesixteenth."
&a,amonth?"
"justabout."
"so.areyousatisfied?"
"inwhatregard?"
"withus.beinghere."
≈quot;
"yourenotgoingtobootusout."
"whywouldidothat?"
&ahedeal."
"doiseemitchy?"
&ahyou.youvegotahardshell."
"look,imfine.idontthinkveronicaistoohappy."
"yeah,itsaproblem.shesalwaysbeenthatway.shekindofexpectstheworst,youknow?shesgotanaffinityfortheworst.sheseeksitout."
";quot;
&a,iguess.shegotknockedaroundalotasakid.shetalksaboutitsometimes."
"peoplegetoverit."
&a."
a:adeadbearinabluedress,facedownonthekitchenfloor.itripoverit,inthedark,whenigetupat2a.herefrigerator.itsanarcroblem,ehouses,andvisiteachotherwhenwefeltparticularlygay——itwouldbeexpensive,yes.butasitwasshehadtoendureions,earlyinthenightandinthenutsyobsessednoontimes.whenifrohelaughingcavalier,yougetarankpigfootedbelchingblunderer.iknewthisoneguywhobuiltawalldowntherablewall.hehadaverybigapart?ment.itworkedoutverywell.concreteblock,basically,withfiberglassinsulationontopofthatandsheetrockontopofthat.
q:well,howdoesitmakeyoufeel?adultery.
a:theresacertainamountofguiltattached.ifeelguilty.butifeelguiltyevenwithoutadultery.iexistinamorassofguilt.theresmaybealittleadditionalofguiltbutialreadyfeelsoguiltythatihardlyno?ticeit.
q:wheredoesallthisguiltefrom?theextra-adulterousguilt?
a:ikeepwonderingif,say,thereisintelligentlifeonotherplas,thescientistsarguethatsowopercentoftheotherplashavetheconditions,thephysicalconditions,tosupportlifeinthewayithappenedhere,didchristvisiteachandeverypla,gothroughthesaheagonyinthegarden,thecrucifixion,andsoonandtheseguysontheseotherplas,theselife-forms,maybetheylooklikebollweevilsorsomething,onamuchlargerscaleofcourse,weretheytoldthattheyshouldntgotobedwithotherattractivesix-footbollweevilsarrayedinsil?verandgoldandwithlittlesquirtsofopiumbehindtheears?doesntofcourseourhuandingisimperfect.
q:youhaventansweredme.thisgeneralguilt——
a:yes,thatstheinterestingthing.ihazardthatitisnotguiltsomuchasitisinadequacy.ifeelthatevery?thingisbeingnibbledaway,becauseicantgetitright——
q:wouldyouliketobeabletofly?
a:itscrossedmymind.
q:thewolestridentdontyouthink?
a:noidontthinkthat.
q:sometimesalittlestrident?
a:everybodysalittlestridentsometimes.
q:sometimesyouhavetoscreamtobeheard.isntthatwhatyouthink?
a:idontthinkthat.
q:ineverscream.imadoctor.
a:yourgoodfortune.
q:ithasnothingtodowithgoodfortune.ithastodowithyearsoftheualeffort.weretheystridentinbed?
a:differentstylesinbedaselsewhere.iguessyoucouldcallveronicastrident.stridencyisaresponsetodissatisfaction.
q:whereissatisfaction?
a:insleep?
whatiftheyalllivedhappilyeveraftertogether?anunlikelyprospect.whatwasthereinhisbrainthatforbadesuchfelicity?toomuch,hisbrainsaid,butthebrainwasafair-to-heglucosethatkeptitabolizedcrèmebr?lée,resentbuttherewasnotenoughvinegarinthisbrain,itlackedvinegar.simondrankvinegarinthemorningsfrombottlessoldtohihoughtofparis,whereeveryfifteen-francbottlewasgood,betterthananythingelsehedevertasted.inswitzerland,inthesudbasel,hedfoundchilledredwinenotbadeither,alearningexperi?ence,alsothathedidnotwanttoliveinacountrysoferociouslytidy.theprostitutesinzurichwerehandsomewell-dressedzebras,favoringstarkblackandwhite,streetfurnitureornaopsortheshowwindowsofthebahnhofstrasse,muchgoldwinkingbehindheavyglass.hedidnotwantawatchorcufflinksoragold-platedcoffeeservice,hewasatadisadvantage.whatwastheretodowiththesewoo!woingintotheprofessioninin?creasingnuhathappilyaboutmullions,intheeveningbythefireside,tiringofmullions,turntocladding,wearyingofcladding,attackwithrelishtheprobleedpressure-washedgun-appliedpolyt-coatedsteel.quelhappiness!
someonewouldgetpregnant,everyonewouldgetpregnant.atseventyhedbedealingwithpahenewchildrenwouldbenae,andbuck.hedstrolloutonthelawn,inthetwilight,andthrowthefootballatbuck.thefoot?ballwouldrocketabouttwofeet,thenheadforthegreensward.thepitifullittlechildwouldsay"kaintanybodyhereplaythisgame?"
lightning.fouroclockintheafternoon.thewochen,enjoyingthedisplayinthebigwindows.
annesays,"whatarewegoingtodoaboutthisbozo?"
"whatstodo?"veronicaasks.
"hehasnthurtanything.yet,"saysdore.
&aumspect."
&aumspect."
&ahinkshesdoingtherightthing."
&a."
&aher."
"helikesthosewindhamhillrecords."
"idontthinkthatmakeshimanut."
"heusestoomuchbutterwhenhecooks.hesmak?ingpasta,hethrowshalfastickofbutterinjustbeforeheservesit."
"buttermakeseverythingtastebetter."
"helooksaroundtoseeifanyoneswatchingbeforehethrowsitin.thenhewhipsitaroundinthererealquick.hopingitwillmeltbeforeanybodyseesit."
&atoraisethelevel.thatkindofshowsithinkanefforttoraisetheleveloflifethatsnottooterrible.typicallya."
arash.theyjump.
"thatwasabiggie."
"nottoobad."
"butwhatofus?whatarewegoingtodo?"
"bideourtime."
"ilikethatexpression."
"haveyoueverhungoutwithanarchitectbefore?"
&ahisguyhewasacontractorort-o-sans."
"whatarethey?"
"movableouthouses."
"goodlordthismanisold."
"fifty-three.oldenoughtobeourfather."
"yethehasacertainspirit."
"wevegottogetsomethinggoing."
"likewhat?"
"something."
"thistowniscreepy."
"itssobigandvast."
"whatabouttherabidskunks?"
"theyfoundanotherone."
"where?"
"atthecloisters."
"isthatfara;quot;
"town.forttryonpark."
"whatwasitdoing?"
"itwaseatingratfood.tutouttokilltherats.inthebaseinthepaper."
"diditbiteanybody?"
"no.buttheratfooddidnthurtit,itsstrongerthanaratfooddidntaffectit,itwasingoodconditionwhenfound,theysaid."
"wellwhataboutitsmate?"
&ae.therewasnoth?inginthepaperaboutfindingitsmate."
"soitsmateisprobablylurkingaroundthecloisterswaitingtobitesomeone."
"probablynoonewillgotothecloistersuntiltheyfinditsmate."
&ae.maybeitwasabache?lororsomething."
&atjustassumethat."
"maybeitwasseekingitsbasementsofthecloisters."
"idontknowwhyyouhavetoromanticizearabidskunk."
"iwasjustthinking."
&a."
&a.hefuckswellenough.notthebestiveeverseen."
&attellusapart."
"ohidontthinkthatstrue.heaskedmewhenmybirthday;quot;
"whatdyoutellhim?"
"itoldhim.julythird."
"wellwrove?"
"hesthoughtful.hecantellonefroedinusasindividuals."
"maybeitsjustafa?ade.maybehejustknowswhattodotomakeusthinkhecaresaboutusasindividualsandisdoingit."
"whywouldhedothat?ifhecaresaboutusasindi?viduals?"
"becausehelikesustohavethefeelingthathecaresaboutusasindividuals?becauseitmakesthingsmorewarm?"
"wellifhewantstomakethingsmorewarmidsaythatwassomethinginhisfavor."
"yesbutyouhavetoweenmakingthingsseemacertainwayandhavingthemreallybeacertain;quot;
"wellevenifhesonlyinterestedin.tothedegreethathemakestheeffort."
"thatstrue."
&aherhand,hereallycares.aboutusasindividuals."
"howwouldwekno;quot;
"therewouldbelittletouches,littleindividualtouches——"
"likewhat?"
"wellwhenifuckaguy,whenhesinsideme,ihavethislittleindividualthingido,idontknowhowtodescribeit,itsakindofhookingmotion,it,byitimeanthevagina,grabsthepenisaroundthethroat,whatyoumightcallthethroat,atacertainpoint,akindofchoking,andthenitletsgoandthenitdoesitagain."
"wellwhataboutit?"
"wellhenoticed."
"wellihavesomethingsiknowhowtodotoo."
"likewhat?"
"wellthatsmybusinessisntit?idontnecessarilyhavetogoaroundexplainingiques."
&aingthisthingtooalbasis,thatsinterestingbutitsnotthehingiswhetherhereallycaresaboutusonanindividualbasis."
"howdowefindout?"
"maybewecouldgivehimsomesortofatest."
&aorespondwelltoatest.itmightmakehimmad."
"wellthisisnottheonlyplaceintheworldwecanlive."
"iknowthatbuthoweydoyouhave?"
&akmygrandmothersentformybirth?day."
"howmuch?"
"twenty-fivedollars."
"thatlltakeusabouttothecorner."
herememberedcaroljuoholdtheendofthevealbonewhilehetriedtocutmeatfromit."thatsnotwhatthemittisfor!"hehadtold,itwashishinghecaredtoincludingcleaningthegreasetrapifhecaredto.oldhionionsfromthepot.thebabystandingonthekitchentableandsinging
impretty
impretty
andidontcare
memoriesofmitt.
"thisguyslappedveronica."
";quot;
"shedoesntknow.sizzaandstoppedatthekoreanmarket.shehadabigcauli?flowerinherhands,shewaskindoffeelingittoseeifitwas——"
"andheslappedher?"
"ablackguy.walkeduptoherandslappedherintheface.knockedhersunglassesoff."
"whatdshedo?"
&a."
"howdoyoukno;quot;
"hesaidso.hesaid,iandimcrazy.thenheslappedher.thenheaskedherformoney."
"didshegivehimany?"
"ofcoursenot,shethrewthecauliflowerathim."
"didithithim?"
"noithitanoldlady.rightinthemush.shedidntthrowitsowell?"
&ahen?"
&ahecounterhadafit.felldownandfoamedatthemouth."
"isheokay?"
&aa;quot;
&aheblackguy?"
"hesplit."
"isveronicaokay?"
"sure.shesusedtoit.beingbashedaround.thisisagreattownyouhavehere."
doreisangry.shesholdingtheboxthatthefrozenpizzacamein.
"youreactuallygoingtofeedusthispizza?"
"whatsthematterwithit?"
"thisfrozenpizza?"
"soitsfrozen."
"doyouknowwhatitsgotinit?enrichedflour."
"whatsthematterwithenrichedflour?"
"theenrichedflourhasinitflour,niacin,reducediron,thiaminemononitrate,andriboflavin."
"allgreatstuff.irememberriboflavinfroiesorsomething."
"werejustgettingstarted.werejustgoingintoourwinduphere.wegetwater,hydrogenatedsoybeanoil,yeast,salt,andsoditioner.thedoughconditionersgotsodiuiumsulfateandsodiumsulfite."
"soybeansaregood.inventedbymartinlutherking."
&acookedporkandmozzarellacheesesubstitute.themozzarellacheesesubsti?tutecontainswater,casein,hydrogenatedsoybeanoil——younoticethesoybeanisdoingalotofworkhere——salt,sodiuid,naturalflavorwhateverthatis,citrate,sorbicacid,sodiuolor,guargum,magnesium,oxide,ferricorthophosphate,zincoxide,b-12,folicacid,b-6hydrochloride,niacinamide,vitaminapalmitate,xanthangum,thia?minemononitrate——iaskyou."
"what?"
"isthisfoodorac;quot;
"doesnttastetoobad."
&aakeanuclearonwithlessstuffthanthispizzahasinit."
abarelegagainstapurplishsheet.
thethingis,theydiscusshim.
"hecouldlosemaybefifteenpounds."
"ithinkitskindofcute.likesantaclauswithwhatdoesitsayabowlfullofjelly."
goodshoulders.deepchest.thatsinhisfavor."
&agoodposture.wereyoueverintheservice,simon?"
"twoyears."
"whenwasthat?"
"inthe50s."
"youdoanything?"
"ofamilitarynature?no,ijustputinmytime."
"alittlebowleggeddontyouthink?"
"itsnotbowlegsitsjustthatthekneesaretooclosetogether."
"bigfeet."
"wellhesabigboy."
"thehandslookalittletoilworntomyeye."
&aousesomekindoflotion,simon,lubridermor——"
"buthesstillgotprettymuchhairforaguyhisage,thatsaplus."
"ithinkyouneedahaircut,siawayfromthatshaggylook,thatsnotthelookoftoday."
&autitforyou.veronicaknowshowtocuthair."
"afive-bucktip,simon,thatsallittakes.thirtyforthehaircutandfiveforthetip."
theysay,overandover:
&ahmydrift?"
&ahmydrift?"
&ahmydrift?"
annesays,&aostandaroundinyourfrillieswithallthoseguyslookingatyou."
"well,thatstrue."
"also,myboobsaretoosmall."
"bywhatstandard?"
&aeptedstandards."
herbreastsareinfactquiteperfect."look,dearfriend,"hesays,"onewouldhavetojourneyightyriversandslogupanddowntower?ingmountains,cutthroughthickmatogrossoswithd,tofindamorebeautifulwomanthanyoursweetself."
"doyoureallyt;quot;
"ofcourse."
"doesntdomeanygoodifimdumb,doesit?"
"whatmakesyouthinkyouredumb?"
"ifiwasntdumbiwouldntbeaprofessionalmodel."
"doesntfollow.lookat——"hegropesforthenameofamodelwhoisalsoamazinglyintelligentbuthisknowledgeofthefieldisinadequate."laurenhutton,"hesays.
"shemakesmoviestoo."
&ahere,"hesays.&aonvinces.probablydreamsthree-dimensionalchess.q.e.d."
"youreverysupportive,simon."
"iloveyouguys."
"thatsthefirsttimeyouvesaidthat."
"islipped."
&aow.thisismarch,right?"
"thesixteenth."
&a,amonth?"
"justabout."
"so.areyousatisfied?"
"inwhatregard?"
"withus.beinghere."
≈quot;
"yourenotgoingtobootusout."
"whywouldidothat?"
&ahedeal."
"doiseemitchy?"
&ahyou.youvegotahardshell."
"look,imfine.idontthinkveronicaistoohappy."
"yeah,itsaproblem.shesalwaysbeenthatway.shekindofexpectstheworst,youknow?shesgotanaffinityfortheworst.sheseeksitout."
";quot;
&a,iguess.shegotknockedaroundalotasakid.shetalksaboutitsometimes."
"peoplegetoverit."
&a."
a:adeadbearinabluedress,facedownonthekitchenfloor.itripoverit,inthedark,whenigetupat2a.herefrigerator.itsanarcroblem,ehouses,andvisiteachotherwhenwefeltparticularlygay——itwouldbeexpensive,yes.butasitwasshehadtoendureions,earlyinthenightandinthenutsyobsessednoontimes.whenifrohelaughingcavalier,yougetarankpigfootedbelchingblunderer.iknewthisoneguywhobuiltawalldowntherablewall.hehadaverybigapart?ment.itworkedoutverywell.concreteblock,basically,withfiberglassinsulationontopofthatandsheetrockontopofthat.
q:well,howdoesitmakeyoufeel?adultery.
a:theresacertainamountofguiltattached.ifeelguilty.butifeelguiltyevenwithoutadultery.iexistinamorassofguilt.theresmaybealittleadditionalofguiltbutialreadyfeelsoguiltythatihardlyno?ticeit.
q:wheredoesallthisguiltefrom?theextra-adulterousguilt?
a:ikeepwonderingif,say,thereisintelligentlifeonotherplas,thescientistsarguethatsowopercentoftheotherplashavetheconditions,thephysicalconditions,tosupportlifeinthewayithappenedhere,didchristvisiteachandeverypla,gothroughthesaheagonyinthegarden,thecrucifixion,andsoonandtheseguysontheseotherplas,theselife-forms,maybetheylooklikebollweevilsorsomething,onamuchlargerscaleofcourse,weretheytoldthattheyshouldntgotobedwithotherattractivesix-footbollweevilsarrayedinsil?verandgoldandwithlittlesquirtsofopiumbehindtheears?doesntofcourseourhuandingisimperfect.
q:youhaventansweredme.thisgeneralguilt——
a:yes,thatstheinterestingthing.ihazardthatitisnotguiltsomuchasitisinadequacy.ifeelthatevery?thingisbeingnibbledaway,becauseicantgetitright——
q:wouldyouliketobeabletofly?
a:itscrossedmymind.
q:thewolestridentdontyouthink?
a:noidontthinkthat.
q:sometimesalittlestrident?
a:everybodysalittlestridentsometimes.
q:sometimesyouhavetoscreamtobeheard.isntthatwhatyouthink?
a:idontthinkthat.
q:ineverscream.imadoctor.
a:yourgoodfortune.
q:ithasnothingtodowithgoodfortune.ithastodowithyearsoftheualeffort.weretheystridentinbed?
a:differentstylesinbedaselsewhere.iguessyoucouldcallveronicastrident.stridencyisaresponsetodissatisfaction.
q:whereissatisfaction?
a:insleep?
whatiftheyalllivedhappilyeveraftertogether?anunlikelyprospect.whatwasthereinhisbrainthatforbadesuchfelicity?toomuch,hisbrainsaid,butthebrainwasafair-to-heglucosethatkeptitabolizedcrèmebr?lée,resentbuttherewasnotenoughvinegarinthisbrain,itlackedvinegar.simondrankvinegarinthemorningsfrombottlessoldtohihoughtofparis,whereeveryfifteen-francbottlewasgood,betterthananythingelsehedevertasted.inswitzerland,inthesudbasel,hedfoundchilledredwinenotbadeither,alearningexperi?ence,alsothathedidnotwanttoliveinacountrysoferociouslytidy.theprostitutesinzurichwerehandsomewell-dressedzebras,favoringstarkblackandwhite,streetfurnitureornaopsortheshowwindowsofthebahnhofstrasse,muchgoldwinkingbehindheavyglass.hedidnotwantawatchorcufflinksoragold-platedcoffeeservice,hewasatadisadvantage.whatwastheretodowiththesewoo!woingintotheprofessioninin?creasingnuhathappilyaboutmullions,intheeveningbythefireside,tiringofmullions,turntocladding,wearyingofcladding,attackwithrelishtheprobleedpressure-washedgun-appliedpolyt-coatedsteel.quelhappiness!
someonewouldgetpregnant,everyonewouldgetpregnant.atseventyhedbedealingwithpahenewchildrenwouldbenae,andbuck.hedstrolloutonthelawn,inthetwilight,andthrowthefootballatbuck.thefoot?ballwouldrocketabouttwofeet,thenheadforthegreensward.thepitifullittlechildwouldsay"kaintanybodyhereplaythisgame?"
lightning.fouroclockintheafternoon.thewochen,enjoyingthedisplayinthebigwindows.
annesays,"whatarewegoingtodoaboutthisbozo?"
"whatstodo?"veronicaasks.
"hehasnthurtanything.yet,"saysdore.
&aumspect."
&aumspect."
&ahinkshesdoingtherightthing."
&a."
&aher."
"helikesthosewindhamhillrecords."
"idontthinkthatmakeshimanut."
"heusestoomuchbutterwhenhecooks.hesmak?ingpasta,hethrowshalfastickofbutterinjustbeforeheservesit."
"buttermakeseverythingtastebetter."
"helooksaroundtoseeifanyoneswatchingbeforehethrowsitin.thenhewhipsitaroundinthererealquick.hopingitwillmeltbeforeanybodyseesit."
&atoraisethelevel.thatkindofshowsithinkanefforttoraisetheleveloflifethatsnottooterrible.typicallya."
arash.theyjump.
"thatwasabiggie."
"nottoobad."
"butwhatofus?whatarewegoingtodo?"
"bideourtime."
"ilikethatexpression."
"haveyoueverhungoutwithanarchitectbefore?"
&ahisguyhewasacontractorort-o-sans."
"whatarethey?"
"movableouthouses."
"goodlordthismanisold."
"fifty-three.oldenoughtobeourfather."
"yethehasacertainspirit."
"wevegottogetsomethinggoing."
"likewhat?"
"something."
"thistowniscreepy."
"itssobigandvast."
"whatabouttherabidskunks?"
"theyfoundanotherone."
"where?"
"atthecloisters."
"isthatfara;quot;
"town.forttryonpark."
"whatwasitdoing?"
"itwaseatingratfood.tutouttokilltherats.inthebaseinthepaper."
"diditbiteanybody?"
"no.buttheratfooddidnthurtit,itsstrongerthanaratfooddidntaffectit,itwasingoodconditionwhenfound,theysaid."
"wellwhataboutitsmate?"
&ae.therewasnoth?inginthepaperaboutfindingitsmate."
"soitsmateisprobablylurkingaroundthecloisterswaitingtobitesomeone."
"probablynoonewillgotothecloistersuntiltheyfinditsmate."
&ae.maybeitwasabache?lororsomething."
&atjustassumethat."
"maybeitwasseekingitsbasementsofthecloisters."
"idontknowwhyyouhavetoromanticizearabidskunk."
"iwasjustthinking."
&a."
&a.hefuckswellenough.notthebestiveeverseen."
&attellusapart."
"ohidontthinkthatstrue.heaskedmewhenmybirthday;quot;
"whatdyoutellhim?"
"itoldhim.julythird."
"wellwrove?"
"hesthoughtful.hecantellonefroedinusasindividuals."
"maybeitsjustafa?ade.maybehejustknowswhattodotomakeusthinkhecaresaboutusasindividualsandisdoingit."
"whywouldhedothat?ifhecaresaboutusasindi?viduals?"
"becausehelikesustohavethefeelingthathecaresaboutusasindividuals?becauseitmakesthingsmorewarm?"
"wellifhewantstomakethingsmorewarmidsaythatwassomethinginhisfavor."
"yesbutyouhavetoweenmakingthingsseemacertainwayandhavingthemreallybeacertain;quot;
"wellevenifhesonlyinterestedin.tothedegreethathemakestheeffort."
"thatstrue."
&aherhand,hereallycares.aboutusasindividuals."
"howwouldwekno;quot;
"therewouldbelittletouches,littleindividualtouches——"
"likewhat?"
"wellwhenifuckaguy,whenhesinsideme,ihavethislittleindividualthingido,idontknowhowtodescribeit,itsakindofhookingmotion,it,byitimeanthevagina,grabsthepenisaroundthethroat,whatyoumightcallthethroat,atacertainpoint,akindofchoking,andthenitletsgoandthenitdoesitagain."
"wellwhataboutit?"
"wellhenoticed."
"wellihavesomethingsiknowhowtodotoo."
"likewhat?"
"wellthatsmybusinessisntit?idontnecessarilyhavetogoaroundexplainingiques."
&aingthisthingtooalbasis,thatsinterestingbutitsnotthehingiswhetherhereallycaresaboutusonanindividualbasis."
"howdowefindout?"
"maybewecouldgivehimsomesortofatest."
&aorespondwelltoatest.itmightmakehimmad."
"wellthisisnottheonlyplaceintheworldwecanlive."
"iknowthatbuthoweydoyouhave?"
&akmygrandmothersentformybirth?day."
"howmuch?"
"twenty-fivedollars."
"thatlltakeusabouttothecorner."