8

    *  *    si.hesboughtnothingbutacoupleofnewshirtsandafewbooks.hesthoughtofnonewprojects.hereadsprogressivearchitectureandcritiqueswhatheseesthereinamoodofamiablecolleagueship.heddoneabuildingin1981thathadpleasedhihinanot-goodareaneartey,wheretheliquorstoresgaveyouyourbottlebyrequestoveraforter,nobrowsinginthestacks.theparishoorthathedcuthisfeetoalherpartnerswerenothappyaboutitbuthadacmodatedhieelbuildingwithinsetsofglassblockasitsonlyde?signflourish,thesehoweverstackedeighteenfeethighintwelvebaysoneithersideofthesanctuary——theglassblockwasthelight-givingeleedthiev?ery,too.ithadbeenpopularinthe30s,consideredadesignclicheinthe40s,50s,60sand70s,andpre?senteditselfagaininthe80s,freshasnewdung.some?thingtobesaidforbeingfifty-three,youcouldenjoytheturningofthewheel.hefeelseveryadditionaldayagreatboon.hedoesntunderstandpeoplewhohavefutures,palpablefutures.hetakesaninterestintheobituarypagesoftheneers,thesummations,tidypackages,so-and-sogetsthreeincheswhereastra-la-lagotseven.hehasapainwherehisliverispresumedtobeandisvomitingrathertooaxesforlastyearandhasbeforehimare?questfromtheirsforanadditional$41.09.thesepeoplearewonderful,hethinks,theywantthelastforty-onebucksandninecents.youdthinkwiththethirty-fivethoutheydsayletshaveabeerandforgetaboutit.

    doreisbrusqueuponawakening,annecheerfulasazinnia.veronicafrequentlyestothebreakfasttable(hardlyatable,aslabofbutcherblockontopofsohfourstoolsaroundit)palewithde?spair,thenisovertakenwithgreatgustsofenthusiasm,forlohengrinoroystermushroomsorpierretrudeau.theyresolovelythathisheadwhipsaroundwhenoneoftheheroorangewotavoid,cantphys?icallyavoid,loudandoutrageousstaring.mysensesarebeingsystematicallydérégled,hethinks,forgiveme,rimbaud.doreisrelativelytall,annenotsotall(buttheyarealltall),veronicaagainthemiddleterm.breastsandswayfro-shirtswithhofthem:allysheedylives!whoisallysheedy?inwhatsensedoesshelive,andwhyisthefactworthyofment?theyknow,hedoesnt.simonhasactuallymetpierretru?deau(atathree-daycity-planningconferenceinot?tawa)andfoundhimacharmingandthoughtfulsworthofcreditwithhisguests.

    tsgeneralizations.doreiscrusty,veron?icaisvolatile,anneisaworrier.thegeneralizationsarebanalbutforting,likeothershesbeenfaithfultoovertureisfrozendartisasourceoflife.

    inthemiddleofthenighthesensessoand?ingoverhisbed.

    "w;quot;

    "itsme.dore."

    heswitchesonthebedsidelamp.

    "?"

    "doyouhaveanymoney?"

    "youmeancash?inthehouse?"

    "ineedacoupleofhundred."

    "rightno;quot;

    sheswearingawhitelacepeignoirwithlongfiligreesleeves.

    "rightnow.twohundred,ifyouhaveit."

    "letmelook."

    siofbedandopensabook,onadamshouseinparadise.hetakesoutastackofbillsandcountsouttwohundredintwenties.

    "itsmybadbrother,"doresays."hesdownstairs.healwaysarriveswithoutwarning.oneofhisendear?ingtraits.thanks.illpayyouback."

    shegiveshimaquickkissandstartstoleave,thenpauses.

    "whatsyourwifesname,simon?"

    "whatsmywifesname?"

    &aellme."

    ≈quot;

    "prettyname."

    theysay,repeatedly:

    "seewhatimsaying?"

    "seewhatimsaying?"

    "seewhatimsaying?"

    a:inthedream,myfatherhovensohallwhichwasfilledwithpeople.iwasintheaudienceandiwasreadingabook.isuddenlyrealizedthatthiswasthewrongthingtodowhenmyfatherer?forming,soisatupandpaidattention.helayingverywell,ithought.suddenlytheconductorstoppedtheperforosingapassageformyfa?ther,apassagethatmyfatherhadevidentlybotched.entively,s?tor.

    q:doesyourfatherplay?inactuality?

    a:notanote.

    q:didtheconductorresembleanyoneyouknow?

    a:no.

    q:whatdidyoudo,afterwork,intheeveningsoronweekends,inphiladelphia?

    a:justordinarythings.

    q:nospecialinterests?

    a:iwasveryinterestedinbow-hunting.thesenewbowstheyhavenow,whattheycallapoundbow——also,imamemberofthegalapagossociety,weworkfortheenvironment,itsreallyaveryeffective——

    q:andwhatelse?

    a:well,adultery.iwouldsaythatshowispentmostofmyfreetime.inadultery.

    q:youmeanregularadultery.

    a:yes.sleepingwithpeoplealthoughlegallyboundtosomeoneelse.

    q:thesewerewomen.

    a:invariably.

    q:andsothatswhatyoudid,intheeveningsoronweekends

    a:ihadthisstrangeexperience.todayissaturday,right?icalledupthishaircutterigoto,hernameisruth,andaskedherforanappointment.ineededahaircut.soshesaidshehadopeningsatten,ten-thirty,eleven,eleven-thirty,twelve,twelve-thirty——onasatur?day.doyouthinktheworldknowssomethingidontknow?

    q:itspossible.

    a:whatifshestabshthescissors?

    q:unlikely,iwouldthink.

    a:stabshthescissorsinanexcessofrage?

    q:yourguilt.irecognizeit.clearly,guilt.

    a:nonsense.theprudentmanguardshiseardrums.theprudentumstances.

    q:youregardyourselfasprudent.

    a:iregardmyselfasasleep.igoalong,thingshap?pentoecopes,thinkingofthegoldenpillow,idontmeanliterallygoldenbutgoldeninmyesteem——

    q:letmeplaythistrackhereforyou,itsbyechoandthebunnymen——

    a:illpass.

    q:ialsohaveavideoofthetetoffensivewithwaltercronkite

    &ahanforty-twoper?centofthetime."

    "maybewecouldfeedhimnourishingbroths."

    "theysaythatvitamineisgoodforthat."

    "thatswhatiheartoo."

    "whatifwegivehipoisonshim?"

    &agivesoyparticularvitaakeswhatitneedsandrejectstherestireadaboutit."

    "itsbecausehessoold."

    "idontthinksoireadaboutthisguywhowasniy-threeandstillwasfatheringchildrenwhenhewasniy-three."

    "perhapsatlongintervalsafterhehadbeencarefullyfedwithvitamineandnourishingbroths."

    "maybeweshouldofferstimulatingphotographs."

    "ofwhat?"

    "potentiallyarousingscenes."

    &aographswouldbemorearousingthanweare?"

    "wellidontknowhowtheirmindswork."

    "maybeweshouldofferhiarenotphotographs."

    "youmeanlikereallife."

    "thatswhatimean."

    &asistingofwhat?"

    "idontknowidhavetolookinsomebooks."

    &ahecan."

    "thatsyouropinion."

    "ithinkheworksquiteendshoursandhours."

    &aenourselvesintoafunda?mentallyfalsepositionhere,idontblamethepoorbastarditsjustismisequippedtodo."

    "isawthisguyinaouldntbelieveit."

    "theyhavethesespecialguystheyuseforthosemoviestheyrenotwhatyouusuallyruninto.theyrespecialists."

    "wedontwanttostresshiityorhavehimgomadorsomething."

    "heshowsnosignsofgoingmad."

    "hesravelinghisclothes.pluckingatthreads."

    "ijustthinkthatmeanshedoesnthaveverygoodclothes.hisclotheshavealotoflooseendsanditsnat?ural,ithink,whenyouseealooseendtopluckatit."

    "iuselubridermonhimsometimes,thathelps."

    "ivenoticedyouvebeenbuyingalotoflubri?derm."

    "ishareitwhatareyougettingsohetupabout?"

    &ahatexpressionsinceiwasachild.hetup."

    "wellwerematurewomenweshouldbeabletocopewiththis."

    "hashemadeawill?"

    &ahought,hasheanythingtowill?"

    &aifhedid."

    "sureyouwould."

    "hecouldbemoretanhisredcolorisfromdrinkingillbetanickel."

    &adealhesananimatewreck."

    "wellilltellyouiveneverhadthatmanyorgasmswithanybodyelsetogivethedevilhisdue."

    "wellifyouwantsimplefrottage."

    "hedoesappreciatewhathesgiven."

    "aswellheshouldhesinhogheaven,objectivelyspeaking."

    "whereare;quot;

    &aofwaitingroom.waiting."

    "howoldisheactually?"

    "hesayshesfifty-three."

    oncewhenhehadcoararkedoutsidethehouse,sotheyhurried.insideonthecouchwiththebabysittertherewasahalf-nakedpoliceman.hehadretainedhisuniforwasonthecoffeetableandthebabysittersblouseonthecoffeetable,abottleofdewarsthereaswell,"thisisrob,"thebabysittersaid,andtheysaid,"hi,rob.&admixedhimselfagelusilandcarolwentsearchingforafarawayclosettohangherblack-beadedjacketin.

    robremovedhiight,carolgavethebabysittertwelvedollars,andsimonlookedinonthesleepingsarah.shehadkickedthecoversoffandhereplacedthem."doyouthinkhewasonduty?"carolasked,re-doingthecovers.

    "yes,"simonsaid."didyousayanythingtoher?"

    "ididntthinkitwasnecessary.shewasblushingallover.neverseenastomachblus;quot;

    "didheleavethebottle?"

    "no,tookit."

    "ithinkillcallthechief.fillhiminonthismatter."

    ≈quot;

    "whatisshe,fifteen?"

    "fullyfifteen."

    "aripefifteen."

    "isa;quot;sheledthewaytothekitchen."iguessthatssarahelevenyearsfromno;quot;

    "ohmiseryme."

    "youwanttojumpthebabysitter."

    "wheredoesthiswordjuefrom?"

    "iknowyou."

    "idontthinkiveeversaidthattoanybody.iknowyou."

    "youretooedupinyourownstuffeventotry.toknowsomeone."

    "thephraseisabittotal.asin,itotaledthebuick."

    "youworryaboutthewayisaythingsbutyoudontworryaboutwhatimean."

    "thatsnotso.anyhow,idontwanttoscrewthebabysitter."

    "youwouldifyoucould."

    "maybeinastateofnature.philadelphiaisnotastateofnature."

    "youredumb.yourejustdumb,simon."

    &ahebabysitter."

    &aended."

    "hadthisguytodaytellionofhisfalebusi?ness.aclient.whathewasreallysayingwasthathewascattlearistocracyandhemadeenoughfromhisoilleasessothathecouldruntwothousandheadofcattleasahobby.thatsknownasself-deprecatinghumor."

    &agingthesubject."

    &aging."

    inbed,hewasalandthrewfourquartsoficewaterathim.